A family guide to talking about social media
Introduction
We’re living in an increasingly connected world, and this is largely due to the internet Social media is any website or app (application) which allows people to connect over the internet and create and share content (such as pictures and videos) with each other. And it’s immensely popular. In just one minute, 1 million people log on to Facebook, 4.5 million videos are watched on YouTube, and nearly half a million people scroll through their Instagram feeds. New and updated platforms and apps are also emerging all the time.
This guide explores both the benefits and risks involved in using social media, how to talk to the children and young people in your family about it, and what you can do to help them use it positively and safely.
How popular is social media among children and young people?
Social media platforms are highly visual, creative and offer the opportunity to connect instantly. It’s no wonder that huge numbers of children and young people sign up to them. In fact, 21 per cent of 8 to 11-year-olds and 71 per cent of 12 to 15-year-olds have a social media profile.
Also overwhelmingly popular with children and young people are online games. As more and more of them (for example, Fortnite and Roblox) offer an immersive online social experience, they’re starting to be considered a new type of social media.
Are there age restrictions for using social media?
Yes. Though different platforms have different ages in their terms of use (ranging from 13 to 18), but they must all comply with the General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR) and the Data Protection Act (DPA) 2018. In the UK, only children aged 13 years and over may give consent to the processing of their personal data.
Make it clear to your child that while it isn’t illegal for them to create a social media account if they’re under 13, the apps they’re using will be forced to delete any underage accounts so that they don’t fall foul of the GDPR and DPA 2018. Using social media safely and responsibly is key, regardless of age.
What are the benefits of social media?
Along with offering children and young people the opportunity to communicate with friends and family, social media gives them a chance to:
- interact with new people over a shared purpose or interest (for example, learning a type of dance on TikTok)
- find out information/news and follow developments in other people’s lives
- explore interests or hobbies, as well as their identity
- express themselves and their views/opinions
- get involved with positive social activism – fundraisers, peaceful protests, etc.
- be creative and develop their own content to share with an audience.
What are the risks of using social media?
If a child’s use of social media isn’t well managed and balanced, it can have a negative impact on their health and well-being. But even using social media a little can cause children and young people to feel that they’re missing out. Remember to remind your child that what they see on social media doesn’t usually reflect real life.
When considering the risks of using social media, consider these four key areas:
Contact
- Interaction with strangers online
Though apps (and games) encourage their users to connect with new people, it’s important your child questions the motives of those who want to be friends or who request personal details, photos, videos, etc.
- Online or ‘cyber’ bullying
This includes repeated and deliberate behaviour designed to harass or emotionally abuse, including leaving nasty comments, ‘trolling’ (posting deliberately offensive or inflammatory messages), impersonation or exclusion from online groups/conversations/activities. Remember, children and young people can be perpetrators as well as victims.
- Live streaming
There’s growing evidence that children and young people are being groomed, pressured and coerced into very harmful behaviour on live video feeds – see research from the Internet Watch Foundation and London Grid for Learning.
Content
- Upsetting content
This includes seeing abusive online behaviour (including live streaming, which doesn’t warn viewers of content), upsetting news stories, animal abuse, hate speech, or content that depicts harm or violence (including self-harm). See SWGfL’s research for more information.
- Inappropriate content
It’s easier than you might think for children and young people to access adult content or depictions of sex/nudity, gambling or other behaviours that break a platform’s community standards or terms of service.
- Misleading content
This includes mis/disinformation, fake news, extreme ideologies presented as fact, and other users portraying their lives as ‘perfect’.
- Scams
This includes content posted by users seeking to defraud others of their personal information, money or other property.
Conduct
- Personal information
Think about what personal information your child shares online. Who can see it (do they have a public or private account)? What information (including location) could people find out about them?
- Digital footprint and online reputation
What impression do your child’s social media accounts give of them? Who else might look for your child online in the future (for example, potential employers, admissions officers for college/university, future partners) and how would they feel about what they find?
- Identity
A child’s or young person’s online identity may be shaped or influenced by other online users. Does your child feel under pressure to present themselves in a particular light or share certain information or types of photo?
- Social pressures
There’s a strong desire among children and young people to have their content liked/favourited by a large audience for recognition and status.
In-app notifications can put undue pressure on them to constantly respond to their followers.
- Over-use
Personal devices can expose children and young people to a lot of screen time. Be wary of social media apps which remove ‘stopping cues’ (notifications to move on to something else).
Commercialism
- Advertising and collection of personal data
What information about your child are social media platforms collecting and selling to third parties (for example, advertisers)? Remember – a free service means that your child’s data is ‘the product’.
- Spending money
Social media influencers who your child follows may promote their own and others’ products to increase engagement and sales. Apps like Twitch and TikTok, on the other hand, allow users to gift digital items/currency (bought with real money) to a creator. Users can also feel under pressure to buy time-limited additional features on some platforms to maintain their online reputation.
How can I empower my child to use social media in a positive way?
Social media is likely to play a central role in your child’s life, both now and in the future. This means it’s important you help equip them with the ability to forge a healthy relationship with it. You can do this in several ways:
- Promote and praise responsible behaviour
Encourage your child to use social media in a positive way and to always think before they post – do they really want every photo or joke/comment they make put on a public platform? How might this affect their online reputation in the long term? You could also keep an eye on who’s on their list of friends/followers to ensure they stay safe.
- Build resilience
Talk through the various strategies for dealing with negative social media content. These include learning to say ‘no’ to unwanted requests, understanding how to report inappropriate content, and knowing where to get help and support (see below for more resources and information).
- Talk about a healthy balance
Helping your child (and wider family) identify what and how much social media they should be using can set healthy boundaries – Childnet’s family agreement template is a useful tool for helping you do this.
Are there any other practical steps I can take?
Yes. You can also ask your child to use:
- privacy settings to control who contacts them and what level of personal information they’re revealing on their accounts. The ICO has produced privacy factsheets about popular social media apps
- service tools to manage their experience – this includes blocking or muting unwanted contact, and reporting users/content that breach community standards
- strong passwords to prevent hacking or impersonation.
How can I start a discussion with my child about using social media?
It’s always helpful to approach a chat by showing genuine interest. You could start by asking them to show you how an app (for example, TikTok) works. You could use these Safer Internet resources to discuss online interactions and how to stay safe. You might also want to:
- use a recent news story about social media as a way in, asking your child what they think, what they would have done in the same position, and what advice they have for those affected
- talk about how different social media content makes them feel. For example, what makes them happy or laugh out loud? What disappoints, shocks or even disgusts them? It’s important to give them a chance to air a range of views.
Is there anything else I need to know when talking to them?
Firstly, regular conversation is key. Your child’s social media usage is likely to change over time, so talking about it shouldn’t be a one-off. It’s also important to be:
- proactive – take time to discuss potential risks and positive strategies before something happens
- non-judgemental – your child’s use of social media will differ to yours – but this doesn’t make what they do ‘wrong’, just different
- open and supportive – help your child know they can always come to you to share their experiences, questions or concerns about social media.
Further resources and information
Hwb and Social networks checklists (for example, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Roblox)
UK Safer Internet Centre – Safety tools on social networks
NSPCC – NetAware
Help and support:
Meic – A confidential, anonymous, and free bilingual helpline service available to children and young people in Wales up to the age of 25.
Childline – A free, private and confidential service available to anyone under 19 in the UK. Whatever the worry, they are there to listen.
NSPCC – A national charity working to protect children and prevent abuse, the NSPCC offers a dedicated helpline with professional counsellors.
CEOP – The Child Exploitation and Online Protection website is where you can safely and securely report any concerns about online sexual abuse.
Report Harmful Content – A national reporting centre designed to help everyone report harmful content they see online.
Action Fraud – The UK’s centre for fraud and cybercrime where you can turn if you’ve been the victim of a scam, fraud or cybercrime in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.