Online sexual harassment

Online sexual harassment refers to unwanted sexual comments or behaviour on any digital platform. Sexual harassment can be public or private. It is:

• recognised as a form of sexual violence

• something children and young people may be seeing regularly online, even if they are not involved themselves

Online sexual harassment can be categorised into 4 main areas.

Non-consensual sharing of intimate images and videos

This refers to when a person’s sexual images or videos are shared or taken without their consent. It may include:

• sharing a nude or semi-nude photo or video of someone without their consent

• capturing sexual images or videos without consent (including what is sometimes referred to as ‘creep shots’, ‘upskirting’ or ‘downblousing’)

• sharing sexual images or videos without consent, even if they were originally taken consensually

Exploitation, coercion, and threats

This refers to when a person:

• receives sexual threats

• is blackmailed or coerced into participating in sexual behaviour online

It may include:

• harassing or pressuring someone online to share sexual images or engage in sexual behaviour

• threatening to publish sexual content (images, videos, rumours) to intimidate, coerce or blackmail someone (also known as sextortion)

• online threats of a sexual nature or incitement of others to commit sexual violence

Sexualised bullying

This refers to when a person is targeted with sexual content or language to purposefully:

• humiliate them

• upset them

• discriminate against them

It may include:

• gossip, rumours or lies about sexual behaviour posted online

• offensive or discriminatory sexual language or ‘outing’ someone online because of their actual or perceived gender or sexual orientation

• body shaming (humiliating someone by making inappropriate or negative comments about their body)

Unwanted sexualisation

This refers to when a person sends unwanted sexual, explicit or pornographic imagery or videos to someone. It may include:

• sending or receiving unwanted sexualised comments, jokes, remarks or sexual advances

• rating peers on attractiveness or sexual activity

• creating or altering sexualised images of a person, such as through filters, virtual reality or deepfake videos

There are several reasons why children and young people might become involved in online sexual harassment. For example:

• they might not realise what they are doing is wrong because they believe it is a joke or banter

• they do not expect it to be challenged as the behaviour is normalised

• they are copying harmful behaviour they have seen elsewhere

• they have been influenced by peer pressure to join in

• they are doing it to deliberately hurt or embarrass someone

Victim blaming can create barriers to reporting sexual harassment or getting help.

Children and young people might choose not to report online sexual harassment because they:

• might not understand that this behaviour is wrong

• see it as normal teenage behaviour

• feel embarrassed or worried it’s their fault

• are anxious about what will happen next

• feel that they have let their parents or carers down

• find it hard to explain

• aren’t ready to disclose their sexuality

• are worried about speaking up due to religious or cultural reasons

• don’t know how to report it

It is important that young people:

• understand the importance of healthy and respectful attitudes online

• are empowered to safely challenge all forms of online abuse and get help if they need it

Some instances of online sexual harassment may break the law. The police will be able to assist schools and families to determine what content qualifies as evidence and how best to secure this.

The following support services are also available to help young people:

• Report Remove can help young people under 18 in the UK to confidentially report and remove online sexual images and videos of themselves.

• Report Harmful Content can help by providing up-to-date information on community standards and links to reporting facilities across multiple platforms.

Talking about healthy behaviours and consent

To help support your conversations around online sexual harassment, talk about:

• healthy behaviour and consent within relationships

• what healthy behaviour and consent mean in an online context

Children and young people are still learning about their personal boundaries. Peer pressure can cause them to doubt themselves and do things they would not usually be comfortable with.

By talking about healthy relationships and the kind of behaviour that is or isn’t acceptable, you can help your child develop confidence to:

• trust their instincts

• manage difficult online situations

Talking to your child about healthy relationships

• Discuss what respectful and disrespectful behaviour looks like in friendships or relationships. For example, someone who respects you should not pressure you to do something that you are not comfortable with.

• Explain what is and isn’t acceptable to share online and why.

• Offer some ways they could say no or get out of an uncomfortable situation.

Explain that:

• consent should always be freely given, with no pressure or assumptions

• consent can be withdrawn at any time

• consent requires full understanding and must be specific to each situation

What to do if your child is experiencing online sexual harassment

1. Remain non-judgemental and calm. Let your child explain in their own words what has happened. Be prepared for your child telling you things that might be hard to hear.

2. Show empathy and understanding. Let your child know that you believe them and you will do all you can to support them. Reassure them that telling you was the right thing to do.

3. Ask open questions such as ‘What happened?’ or ‘What can I do to help?’ rather than questions that suggest blame, for example ‘Why did you do that?’

4. Try not to remove access to the technology your child loves. They may feel more isolated or punished as a result and unable to connect with friends for support.

5. Take action to report and remove content.

What to do if your child is responsible for online sexual harassment

It can be upsetting or uncomfortable to find out that your child has been involved in or responsible for online sexual harassment. It is important that you remain calm, listen and allow them time to explain what has happened.

If your child finds it difficult to talk about what has happened, suggest other options, for example they could write it down instead.

Reassure your child that you are there to help. They will be feeling vulnerable and need your help and support.

Talk to your child about:

• why their behaviour is unacceptable

• the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviours

Try to find out how it happened and who has been involved. It might be helpful to speak to a member of staff at your child’s school. Keep in mind that schools may need to refer any incidents involving nude images of under-18’s to the police. Should this happen, make sure you are aware of your child’s rights. Visit Family Lives and LawStuff to find out more about this, plus the UK Government for information on the age of criminal responsibility.

If you find out that your child has been displaying harmful sexual behaviour and you are worried that adults are involved, it may be the case that your child has been:

• coerced

• exploited

• threatened

• the victim of grooming

If you feel this is the case, contact Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) for support.

You could contact Barnardo’s Better Futures Cymru ‘Taith harmful sexual behaviour service’. The service works with children and young people who display problematic or harmful sexual behaviour.