Online grooming

Overview

Online grooming is a process where someone befriends another person online and builds up their trust with the intention of: 

• manipulating them
• exploiting them
• causing them harm

Groomers often target those who may be:

• feeling lonely
• feeling isolated
• struggling with self-esteem or relationships

The victim could be groomed by someone they know or a complete stranger.

What to do if you suspect grooming

How online grooming happens

Groomers often contact many people at once, hoping some will respond.

Online groomers will often:

• use multiple platforms to initiate contact
• insist that conversations are kept secret
• try to find out more, such as whether their target is alone
• send sexual messages, which may initially be subtle, such as complimenting appearance
• request personal information such as details about their victim’s location, school or college
• use blackmail to control their victims

If the victim has sent images, groomers may threaten to share them publicly unless more images are sent. When this blackmail involves demands for money, it is called sextortion.

Groomers may try to convince young people they are communicating with a peer by using AI tools to create realistic:

• profiles
• images
• conversation

Groomers may also use AI technology to create fake images (including nudes) to deceive, manipulate or extort victims.

Signs a young person is being groomed

It’s not always obvious that a young person is being groomed. However, there may be signs to indicate that something is not quite right. They might, for example:

• become withdrawn, unhappy and secretive
• spend more time talking on the internet, often keeping their online activities private
• stop doing things they normally enjoy, like meeting up socially with friends
• have new items, such as clothes or a mobile phone, without saying or credibly explaining where they come from

You are best placed to know if a young person you know is behaving differently. Trust your instinct and follow up on your concerns.

Children and young people may not feel able to seek help because:

• they are unaware they are being groomed
• they believe they are in a caring relationship and are worried about endangering it
• they may fear what the groomer will do if they speak out
• they do not want to get the groomer in trouble
• they feel like they are to blame
• they are embarrassed

Helping young people to stay safe

It is important that children and young people can recognise the signs of grooming and abuse and feel confident speaking out. You can support them by:

• teaching them about healthy relationships
• having conversations about privacy and why they should be careful with their personal information
• showing them how to use privacy settings to control who can see their content
• explaining why they should not accept friend request from strangers or talk to strangers in private chats
• teaching them to be wary of flattery, gifts and offers that seem ‘too good to be true’
• helping them develop the knowledge and skills needed to keep safe online
• encouraging them to identify trusted people and safe places they can go to for support
• encouraging them to report suspicious behaviour

Support for young people

Support for schools

Support for families

Views from the experts

Help and support